


Epoch

by CLSarah



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:33:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22251895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLSarah/pseuds/CLSarah
Summary: Truth as a punishment.  Certainly for these two that has always been the case...canon or not.  Who am I to argue?
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 17
Kudos: 69





	1. The Broken Dam

Thirty minutes. That's how long this Baranian Ambassador was intriguing and now four hours into our diplomatic visit I am about finished. An aesthetically impressive humanoid specimen, perhaps why I am so generous with the thirty minutes, but I am tiring quickly. Tuvok and I spent a few hours on their planet trading stories and going over lists for potential trades, now back on Voyager at the reception I see that the Baranian thirst for life is really just lustful and quite frankly repugnant. 

Ambassador Yazen and three associates are all but visually devouring my crew. They don't seem to conform too much to gender roles or preferences, which I found refreshing, and honestly how one would picture the 24th century to be generally. But now...it just made my entire crew an equal opportunity smorgasbord; female, gender fluid, male, even Neelix was getting some heated gazes. These are games that are not to be played here. I need three things in quick succession; a speedy end to this evening, a warm bath, and to warp the fuck out of here as soon as I get what we need. 

"Captain," a smiling Chakotay greets me. He's got his diplomatic face on and it fools everyone but me. I have no reassuring silent confirmations that I can send him and he reads me loud and clear. 

"Well, who is this member of your delectable crew?" Yazen asks and I see Chakotay look at me with amusement mixed with disapproval. He waits a beat as he allows me to do the introduction.

"Ambassador, may I introduce my First Officer, Commander Chakotay," I wave in his direction and in turn, " Chakotay, this is Ambassador Yazen of Baran."

The Ambassador makes a low humming noise in the back of his throat. The first dissatisfied indication since we met, it surprises me as I have been giving off something akin to disgusted sighs since we arrived back on Voyager. I look back at Chakotay who hasn't missed this but soldiers on dutifully as always. "A pleasure Ambassador," he offers with a polite nod of his head. 

Chakotay's greeting is all but ignored and Yazen pushes past us both and announces to no one in particular, "Another drink for Kathryn of Voyager."

I watch Chakotay flinch at the use of my first name, a privilege afforded really only to him in this lost-in-space scenario that we find ourselves in. I pause and look at his face for an instant before deciding we have more pressing concerns. As Yazen stalks off to the bar in the mess hall, I see Tuvok and his team tracking him carefully. 

I lean in for a consultation. "If I could sum up the last few hours..."

Before I finish he does, "These sexually charged Barans are overstaying their welcome and as you have garnered extra high-level attention, a resolution is in order." I smile up at him. Even at barely appropriate times, such as this, his voice holds a certain levity that I feel is only for me. To comfort me and other times to just remind me that I am human. I think it just did both. 

"I'm all ears Commander," as I spread my arms out to gesture that the sky is the limit. I will take anything. Before we continue Yazen returns with another drink for me. 

"You know Ambassador," Chakotay begins with a friendly tone "I am happy to take you on a tour of the ship. I'm sure you haven't had time to see much of Voyager as of yet." 

"Why would I want to do that when what I want to see is right here?" and he gestures to me. The gesture is indicating not just my general direction but a vertical motion indicating the entirety of my body. "I can't imagine a better view. Enticing and commanding at the same time. I would like her to command me and...." At that, the Captain in me is unleashed. I don't need Chakotay's next movement for I am already stepping towards Yazen. 

A hand waving two fingers in a very undiplomatic display as I explain our culture and expected conduct aboard my ship. My jaw is set and my Irish skin is blazing hot. "This. Is. Not. How. I. Conduct. Trade." At that, Yazen is smiling almost smugly as my words are taken in. I continue to educate them on our principles. I glance at Chakotay who is standing at ease with his hands clasped in front of him, a sure sign he knows I have this handled. 

"Are you quite finished, Captain?" and the displeasure in his demeanor is now palpable. I nod and retract my hand, not in concession, but in the hopes of dialing back the tension a notch and knowing that Tuvok is already stationing himself behind me, a walk to the transporter room surely in order. 

"We are done here," I explain with just as much command but less venom as I stand a little taller and take slight comfort in my home field advantage. Tuvok moves to the Ambassador's side but before he can issue the thinly veiled demand to be escorted off of the ship...there is a blinding light throughout the room. What feels like only a few seconds later I am looking up at the ceiling of the mess hall. I struggle to move my head only to find all of my crew that were present at the reception lying on the ground, looking dazed, and no one really seeming to be able to get right up. Yazen and one of his welcoming party members gaze down at me. 

"Home field advantage," Yazen spits at me in a mocking tone. My eyes are wide and I absently move my hand to the back of my throbbing head. 

"The Baranians are telepaths...." I declare very unnecessarily at this point. "You have attacked us. What do you want?" I demand this information, even from my position lying on the floor. 

"The most ungracious hosts get what they deserve...what no one really wants, the truth," Yazen snickers along with the three associates nearby. The crew is starting to move and whatever momentary paralysis had come over us is subsiding. 

I sit up noting Chakotay and Tuvok doing the same beside me. I realize we are at a huge disadvantage and unarmed so I try diplomacy "I was not trying to be an ungracious host...it just seemed," and I didn't have a chance to finish. 

"It just seemed that while I was trying seduce you into an enjoyable evening that you would most likely not forget, you seemed to be focused on making light of my overtures to your overzealous first officer here," he gestures towards Chakotay with a hand and look of disgust. "We can hear the thoughts of those bonded closest. They are the loudest. He must drone on forever in his mind about his adoration for his sweet Kathryn. Too bad he spends most of his time thinking about fucking you; on the bridge, in something called the 'ready room', and his ultimate favorite..." Yazen looks around at the dazed crew trying not to act interested in this very unfair and hideous conversation, and motions as if wanting them to guess, "oh yes, you got it, the pool-table at a place called Sandrine's." the Baranian laughter in the room is overwhelming as I get to my feet. No one in the room is making eye contact but I see Tom Paris leaning on a highback chair shaking his head slowly, as if in understanding, and mouthing "Sandrine's" to himself. My eyes snap back to Yazen. "A parting gift for you," he states and offers nothing further. 

"I want you off my ship," and almost instantaneously the white light occurs again and they are gone. But the "gift" is clear to me in an instant. The white light not affecting me as it did previously. I remain standing but I feel a thunderous wave of emotions that are not my own. I looked over to the dark brown eyes next to me, full of shame and also concern at the moment, but I realize they are not just any emotions...they belong to him. He peers back at me and I know, a seismic shift had occurred. I stumble backwards astounded by both the information and the power of it. I think back to my earlier list of to-dos; getting the fuck out of here at warp speed sounds about right. 

"I'll be on the bridge. I need to make sure we are out of harms-way." I manage to bark out before leaving the mess hall. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, out of harms-way.


	2. Enesta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enesta is the Cheyenne word for "hear". I imagine how Janeway and Chakotay would begin to deal with his thoughts being out there. What she would do being able to hear his truth? Janeway is in some ways predictable and in others ways, not so much.

We are exiting orbit of the Baran homeworld by the time I reach the bridge. My directive to the conn to do so on my way was met with immediate response. My head is still spinning with what has become really two separate sets of thoughts. At first, it seemed like just emotions, impressions even, but as the seconds tick by I realize that indeed Chakotay’s thoughts are running through my mind as if they are my own.

As I get to the middle floor of the bridge, a place that ironically, I feel the safest, I listen to the reports of our escape from Ensigns Telfor and Kim. The Barans have made no obvious attempts to either stop us or connect with us during the last few minutes. I am astonished that we so greatly misjudged them. It is something that we will be discussing…well, right now. Tuvok and Chakotay step off of the turbolift.

“My ready room, now!” I bark out. No need for names or further explanation as they are behind me. They know who they are and I find them both standing at attention before me as I move behind my desk but I do not sit.

“Gentleman, where should I start?” I raise my eyebrows and purse my lips. “Hmmmm? Anyone? How the hell did we not know they were telepaths? About their advanced weapon and travel capabilities?” I look at them expectantly. Chakotay’s stream of consciousness is overcrowding mine and I try to push it away but I have no power or training to do so. He is shifting a bit uncomfortably in his parade rest and not looking at me. He doesn’t seem to care at all about either my level of anger nor any additional potential threat from the Barans. He only wants me to go to sickbay to have my head evaluated, I do have some bleeding from when I hit the floor.

Tuvok cuts through the fog, “This is most unfortunate,” he begins as I come around my desk to stand a few inches from both of them. Chakotay is calling Tuvok a fool in his head but his face remains impassive.

“Tuvok, I want you to scower the information we have from them for any indications about these abilities. I don’t have time to talk about your massive understatement. I am going to report to sickbay as I am having some strange residual effects from this incident. I expect a thorough report this time Commander. You are dismissed,” and with that they turn to leave but I ask Chakotay to stay. He returns to his position in front of me and looks me directly in the eyes.

“I’m sorry for the embarrassment this must have caused you,” I begin. He tenses at my words, he posture is very ridged and his mind is begging me to stop talking.

“It was most unfortunate,” he says with a sad and shy smile. He is thinking a joke is all he has left to say because what a joke it all is. I chuckle for his sake but I shake my head a bit too. I look off to points elsewhere in the room to attempt to center myself. “I need to get to sickbay but I have to tell you something,” he is thinking I am going to respond to the Ambassador’s revelation. “It’s not that…” and as the words are out of my mouth his eyes snap up to mine and my secret is reveled.

“Kathryn….no!” now his thoughts turn desperate and I see his stance fall apart. He is looking for purchase on the back of the chair near where we are standing. He searches the room with his eyes and then settles back on me. “Then you know it’s all true, what he said, what I feel, I’ve tried so hard…” he chokes back a bit of emotion at that. I put a reassuring hand on his arm as I hear him think he wishes I wouldn’t come near him; I back off.

“I know that Chakotay. You can’t blame someone for their thoughts and you are the most respectful First Officer, the most respectful friend. It’s okay,” I don’t need to read minds to understand the relief that washes over him at this point. I give him a minute to collect himself. He is thinking he should take me sickbay.

“Good idea,” I answer his silent request. “Let’s get to sickbay and talk to the doctor. A good next step.” He nods at that and we are off to the turbolift. I ignore the looks on the bridge, I suspect I will be doing that a lot in the coming days.

*************************************************************************************************************************************** 

“Captain!” the Doctor rushes over to me as I enter. He runs his tricorder over me as he inquires as to what happened, but he had obviously heard. As soon as he reads his scans to find that I am not seriously hurt he looks between the Commander and myself as he is sensing something out of place.

“There is more...” he continues to gauge our expressions. He is perceptive for a ‘trick of light’. I’ll give him that. Neither of us are answering him. “I’m a doctor not a mind reader,” he admonishes. Okay that’s enough…

“Commander, would you excuse us? I’ll head back to my quarters for some rest and to review the reports coming in while you and Tuvok do some digging. Please stop by later for a briefing,” he nods and is thinking I am quite gracious.

I turn back to the Doctor and explain the situation. His eyebrows raise but he says nothing until I am finished. He scans me silently. I wait for the quip…

“I’m sure there aren’t many kid-friendly thoughts about you rummaging around in that head of his,” and there it is.

“Doctor, that isn’t helping,” I tell him sternly as I am rubbing my forehead.

“Neither is all of your moving around,” he shoots back. He finishes the scan and frowns. “I am detecting telepathic activity in your frontal lobe but it’s not anything I’m familiar with. I will need some time to review these scans. The best I can do is a cortical monitor for you so that I can at least check on your condition,” I expose my neck as he applies. “I’ll be in touch,” he tells me apologetically. I nod and head back to my quarters. Chakotay fills enough of my thoughts on a normal day but this…THIS is intolerable. I sit down at my desk but can not work, I wait for him to stop by as discussed.

  
******************************************************************************************************************************************* 

  
“Kathryn,” he begins with his voice low and hoarse. His entry into my private quarters has somehow shifted our dynamic. He can feel it just as I can. He doesn’t dare look at me for I know he is thinking he will lose any small amount of composure that he has. His official update is quick and disappointing, as they have found nothing helpful thus far. 

He swallows loudly and looking at a spot on the floor he continues, “ The vulgar things that he said, it makes my stomach turn. You have to know, I may think about us together, but I would never disrespect you in such a way. I should apologize to you in front of the crew…” he trails off and is breathing raggedly. It’s hard for me to respond because I feel the weight of his pain and know all of those thoughts simultaneously.

“Chakotay, I realize that. I would never blame you for any of this. It is….difficult…for me to acknowledge things I have tried so hard to bury deep,” I try to explain without really admitted to anything. I am the master of this tactic. I throw my hands up a bit and turn around, I run my fingers through my hair and I hear his thought immediately.

“Longer eh?” I suddenly smile just a bit. His eyes are staring daggers into me when I turn around and he is not amused. He is something else entirely.

“Yes, I suppose I do like it better that way but you are beautiful . The most beautiful woman to me, all of the time, no matter what your hair looks like,” he continues to stare exploring my entire face and the thoughts that race through he his mind have me way past red alert.

I feel like the environmental controls are offline. I am so thankful that there is about 3 feet of distance between us. I look down and he knows “I have to go,” he says and his mind is full of regret and also a stubborn need to stay planted where he is standing and see this though.

“Once and for all?” I ask with the sarcastic air that I know puts him off.

“There will have to be a day Kathryn. This can’t go on forever. I’ve been humiliated but no one really knows any more than they did before…even you.” Christ! He astounds me. I have never known a man who can project so many varying emotions at one time. A few minutes ago, he was sad and tortured, but now I see his confidence returning. His sureness and all he is certain of in this life is directed towards me.

“I’ll see you in the morning. We have a briefing at 0700.” He waits and stares at me disbelieving that I mean what I say. I hear something of the equivalent of “Damn you Kathryn” over and over in my head. It could my thoughts, his, or both. I stand in the same spot for a long time. Why I am drawing this out, I can’ t answer.

Right before he steps out of the door he turns, “Maybe it will be a good thing. For you to feel what I feel each night when the distractions of this ship fall away. You will know how real this is…and that…” he looks past me to the stars. “And that it’s a permanent connection to you that I feel. I will carry you with me until my last day,” and then he is going.

I head to bed with his thoughts filling my head. I have no idea how arduous the night will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback or kudos always appreciated. 
> 
> Also kudos to you all that do chapter stories on the regular. It is SO difficult to start and stop and start again!


	3. The Longest Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter in my humble little story. This is how I picture their telepathic dilemma ending.

I arrive to the briefing room at 0630. The first to arrive. As everyone files in, I greet them with nods. Chakotay is the last to come in. I am trying to remain impassive. 

The stormy night of hearing his restless thoughts crowd my brain was exhausting. He wants me. But it isn't some lust-filled conquest. He doesn't want to possess me. He wants me because he needs. He wants to make me feel it, he thinks of all the ways he can and I had to watch his mind work through it. He is full of undying love and affection and if only I would let him in...our days would be filled with companionship and joy and our night would be unforgettable if it is the last thing he does. I swallow a large gulp of air and I see him turn to me. I look at him only out of the corner of my eye but I feel him like a magnet that is pulling at my body. He must sense me squirming, maybe they all do. It is physically painful to sit in the same room with him. 

I tell my senior officers about my current condition. Not because I am confiding in them but because a resolution is part of our mission now. I see a few of my team look at each other in surprise. Chakotay wants to cut in but I shoot him a warning look. I don’t want to make this any worse. We have a structure to uphold. 

“Updates!” I demand. My usual style with a small side of defensive posture thrown in. 

Tuvok recounts his review of information and seems almost…deflated. 

The Doctor chimes in next, “I am working towards analysis of the wave formation for the telepathic connection. If I find the patterns and how to disrupt them then I may be able to perform a procedure. It will be delicate making the call though…” before he can finish Tom pipes in.

“Like calling your eight ball in the corner pocket at the most delicate of times,” Tom shuts his eyes to control his snickering. B’Elanna covers her mouth but lets out a loud laugh despite herself. I want to slap them both. I see Harry across the table shaking his head. 

“Enough!” Chakotay yells as he stands and he slaps his palm on the table. I hear his violent outburst in his head and silently pray that he doesn’t unleash half of what he is thinking. “I will not tolerate this. No jokes, no looks, no insinuation. It’s disrespectful to the Captain and she did nothing to welcome this terrible situation. What Ambassador Yaren said was regarding me and my thoughts. Leave her out of this. The next person I see or hear of that is disrespecting the Captain will be on report. Understood?” and he makes a point to make eye contact with each person. They nod. B’Elanna scoffing and pushing back her chair was the only defiant response to his warning. Tom, Harry, Neelix, Tuvok, and the Doctor all had the good sense to nod and express a round of ‘Yes sir”. 

Chakotay sat back down. He remained on alert throughout the rest of the meeting. I gave him a silent thankful nod at the end. 

When I take my seat on the bridge and we are setting course for the next inhabited system to hopefully do the trade and resupply we were supposed to accomplish with the Baranians. I feel the bridge crew struggle a fraction but somehow, they manage to slip back into their roles. No harm, no foul. Well except for the person to my left. He is looking at the console between us then dead ahead at the screen but all I feel is him pulsing beside me. His mind is whirling and it is dark. He wants to protect me, but also to take me and make me his. I see him close his eyes in concentration but the need keeps filling my brain, his brain, same thing. So much for the show…

“I’ll be in my ready room,” I declare. As I pushed up and away from him, I felt his sense of loss. He likes me near and especially now. I’ve got that feeling, right before something blows up in my face, I’m old enough and reckless enough to have had that happen a few times. I stay there for the remainder of my shift. Hearing and feeling his every devastated emotion as I do so. I escape to my quarters, to the bath, to bed. It’s useless though. I feel something greater that myself deciding my next move. I get dressed and head out. 

********************************************************************************************************************************************** 

He calls for me to come in and he is sitting on the couch reading. I know this of course already. I take a few steps in. He is looking at me and I do not speak yet. We take a minute and I feel him sign, inwardly if not outright. 

There is an old Irish saying ‘The longest road out is the shortest road home’ I tell him. He smiles shyly. 

“How’s 70,000 light years for a long road?” I say with levity. 

“It’s far,” he says looking at my face seriously. He closes his book slowly and sits it beside him. Then he stands from his couch and walks towards me, hands open. “But where did it get you?” he asks.

“Your quarters at o-two hundred,” I quip. I expect him to laugh but he looks past me to the door. He then walks past me without touching me until he activates the mechanism. 

“Come with me,” he commands. He looks torn and his mind is telling me the same thing. He thinks this is a bad idea and yet he feels inspired. 

“Okay,” I say not hiding my skepticism and I look at him questioningly. Not what I expected, not what I hoped for. Then again, I don’t know what I hoped for. “I’ll ignore the passing crewmen,” I say with a nod as I exit with him. Answering his additional unsaid command to me. 

We walk in silence. I know we are going to the holodeck but I can’t tell his thoughts beyond that, which is strange to me, his thoughts have been so clear. We arrive and he enters commands in to the console outside. We step into…well I don’t know what we step into. A beautiful place, serene and totally foreign to me. I notice he is concentrating on my face as he stands beside me. 

“Okay….” I start slowly. “What is this place?” I say shaking my head in wonder. I don’t wait for a reply as I move forward. Still talking, rambling really. I have noticed in my life that I have such a commanding tone and presence that at times other don’t seem to notice my nervous rambling but instead take it in as if it’s scripture. “I can’t tell if it’s Earth, Trebus, Risa, Clorea II… I just don’t know,” I look back at him because the answer isn’t clear. Then I read him. “You don’t know where it is either!” I say with disbelief. 

He smiles looking down at his boots. “No,” then his soft eyes return to mine. He walks past me again and leads my down a path to a small house. It sits near a thick wood. A lake is nearby and the home seemed to be lived-in. I walk the front yard for a moment before I see him with the door open and gesturing for me to come inside. As I start to walk, I notice the flowers of choice are beautiful pink and white peace roses. It is a stunning space inside as well, full of decorative touches and light that shines through all of the many windows. I notice the dashes of Native American culture and I see the books on the shelf nearby, some I’ve read and some are unknown to me. I hear a sound at the door that makes me jump and Chakotay moves swiftly to allow the noisy party entry. A beautiful Irish setter with doe eyes just like my…..

“Oh my God,” I say and my hand flies to cover my mouth. Then I hear this thoughts, and all that he has somehow been holding back. All at once it hits me. But I turn to him and I want, more than anything, for him to say these things to me aloud. So ironic and I have avoided this at all costs but I want it, I need to hear it. 

“Can’t hide anything from you temporary telepaths,” he smirks. He moves a little closer to me to search my face. 

“Do you want to hide from me?” I say without much thought. I am all in on this conversation apparently.

“No Kathryn,” he speaks with the finality that I have come to depend on. Also, the kind that scares the hell out of me. “I don’t want to hide. I wanted you to see. This is a home, “ he gestures around the living room. “A sanctuary that has been carefully crafted. A dream of mine that I refine from time to time. A wish, a prayer,” he walks away because he feelings are powerful and he needs to breath for a moment. “It is home, it can be anywhere. But it is not for just anyone,” now he looks back a me with hope and fear. “It is for us. I have been saving it in the event that fortune should ever come my way.,” I can tell he is embarrassed as I stand in his fantasy and start to feel his emotions and begin to truly understand what he is asking of me. My eyes move wildly around the room and I run, almost in a childlike fashion, to the other small and intricate rooms. I explore his thoughtful nature and the deep love that is sewn into the fabric of this dwelling. I return to the main room, out of breath and out of excuses. 

“It’s wherever I want it to be,” I say with the same finality he spoke with a few minutes ago. Finally understanding. He nods and he stands in the middle of room. I walk slowly now to him and he brushes my cheeks with his hand and he pulls me into an embrace. I feel him kiss the top of my head. I feel the love he has for me, the kindness in his heart. It radiates through me. I pull back and feel the pull towards him, as I reach up to edge nearer to his lips I hear my comm.

“Sickbay to Janeway,” rings loudly through the quiet space.

I take a breath but I don’t break our embrace, “Here Doctor”.

“Good news. I have analyzed the telepathic patterns of the Baranians. I have a solution to sever the imposed connection,” he explains. I take a deep breath. In a funny twist, Chakotay knows what I am thinking. We have been lovers that do no make love for a long time and long enough. This is an opportunity now, not a curse. 

“I will be to Sickbay as soon as I wrap up what I’m working on,” I hesitate to nail down a timeframe. “In one…” I begin in questioning tone. Chakotay’s mischievous smile makes me smile and he holds up two fingers to me. “In two hours, Janeway out,” I end the communication. We both laugh nervously. 

“You can feel what I feel…I want you to,” he tells me as he leads me to our bedroom. I am nervous and also sure as we cross the threshold. 

“The shortest way home,” I confirm to him and I resolve to make him feel my thoughts as well in this time we have. 

The END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing a story is so challenging. Janeway is challenging. BUT this fandom is awesome! Thanks for the kind comments and kudos, it is so appreciated. I love the escape here and mutual hardcore love of JC. I really hope you enjoyed the story.


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